I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
