so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
