I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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