My nipple is on Facebook.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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