that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
