I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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