I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
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He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize