I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
