im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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