i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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