you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
