Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
