Don't you send me to vm
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize