i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
