Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
