You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
