Quick, to the slutcave!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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