Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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