What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize