So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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