We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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