I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
