I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we're making bets on your personal life
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
