fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
