dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
