I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
