well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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