was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It was confusing and full of hummus
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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