you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
