unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
