I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Bring me that man meat
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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