PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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