Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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