did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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