Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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