they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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