They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
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She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
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Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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