I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
