It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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