Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
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He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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