omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm passing your future prison.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize