porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
