at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
