Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
