The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's shark week go big or go home
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
