He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
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dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
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He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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