where am i from again
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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