party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
