So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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