HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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