Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
COCAINE IS GR8
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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