I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize