Are we in a gay sports bar?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
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When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
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Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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