i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We're too hungover to prance.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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