And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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