i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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