Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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