So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
