I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize