Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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