love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
