flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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